I love to read and my degree is in English Literature. In high school I may have used Coles notes (Cliff Notes if you’re American) for an essay or two (sorry Mrs. Fabian- I really did love your classes). In university I never did this kind of nonsense because I had the luxury of going to an amazing college that had a plethora of English courses and I was able to choose the classes that I was interested in.
When I found this book titled twitterature by Alexander Aciman and Emmett Rensin I was smitten. These two clever college freshman from the University of Chicago reinvented a series of classic novels using tweets as their format.
Many of my favorites such as The Catcher in the Rye, Paradise Lost, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and The Great Gatsby are represented- in short form, via a series of tweets. I love it-
Anyway- it’s a quick and hilarious read- I have taken the liberty of copying out George Orwell's Nineteen eighty four! If you are familar with this novel then I am certain you will find it as entertaining as Dr. J and I did!
Here, as it appears in twitterature:
By George Orwell
London is a totally ridiculous place these days. (I actually mean ridiculous in a totalitarian way. Best keep this to myself.)
What’s with the slogans like ‘War is Peace’? Do only I see they make no sense? Seems someone in the government is on a very big opposites kick.
I found a little journal and a tiny place in my room where Big Brother ISN’T watching. Now I can record dissident thoughts/jerk it.
Look, brother, if I wanted to be WATCHED doing my dirty business, I’d make a sex tape. Oh? You already have it?
God I hate rats. It’s important that you know how much I hate rats, because I really, really hate rats.
At work; dullsville. How can rewriting history be fun if you’re betraying the timeless ideal of truth? Let’s see: Truth Is Lies?
Disregard last tweet. Need to keep those bad thoughts out of my head, otherwise I’ll have to make a trip to the Ministry of Love.
P.S. By ‘Love’ they mean imprisonment, execution, and unspeakable torture. In that order. Like I said, opposites are the new white.
Met a drab hot girl today. Slipped me a note saying she loved me. Romance is forbidden because everything good in this society is bad. Hmm.
Fuck it, life’s a risk. Had sex on the hillside; went wild, though for a moment I was ashamed of my varicose veins.
While you should never date a hooker or a porn star, I suggest a girl who writes porno. Guess what she thinks about all day?
We defeated Eurasia in the war! Or was it Eastasia all along? Either way, we’ll take them as usual.
Julia and I do it every day. Nice store owner rented us a room without cameras. Must not launder the bed sheets too often or we’ll be caught.
My boss wants to see me; this can’t be good. Maybe I’ll get laid off and have to transfer to the Ministry of Irony.
Surprise. He is part of a secret organization devoted to overthrowing the party. Julia and I are in. This is so exciting.
Just kidding. Big Brother WAS watching! Carted off to the Ministry of Love, as I tweet. Makes me think of childhood for some reason.
Sometimes you’re locked up in a secret government prison. Then you meet this crazy old woman. And it’s you mother.
Hard to post through endless rounds of torture. O’Brien tells me that the Party wants power for power’s sale. Deep, man.
DAMNIT. FUCKING RATS IN MY FUCKING FACE. WHY DID I TELL I HATE RATS? NO KILL JULIA PLEASE GODDAMIT. FORGOT: THERE’S NO GOD.
I’m a free man. I do love Big Brother. He is doubleplusgood – truly, in my heart, I love him. Because I am free. So very free.