28.3.11

On Living Life

When things are trying and ever day seems like a test in not letting the mind wander and every night a battle to settle below the surface of worried wakefulness, I remind myself that nothing matters except the four of us.  We can’t control others, their reactions or even more frustratingly, their lack of reactions and willingness to move forward.  
What you can do is focus on the things that matter.
Do things that make you happy- everyday.  Then focus on your loved ones and those who depend on you.  Just like a happy wife is a happy life, in the words of Jackie Kennedy Onassis the best thing a wife can do for her husband is ‘be a distraction’.  

A husband lives and breathes his work all day long. If he comes home to more table thumping, how can the poor man ever relax?

I practice Feng Shui in my home as it gives structure to my ultimate goal of creating a harmonious home.  I put things back where they belong.  I seek and execute healthy meals.  I run errands so that everyone has what they need.  I plan things that I know will make my family happy.  I water the plants and feed the pets.  I invite good chi (energy flow) into our home. Most importantly I schedule time to do things that make me happy.

Another famous Jackie quote is: 

 If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much. 

How true and yet hard to gauge.
I was talking to a friend who is expecting her first grandchild in the fall.  She told me that her gauge is that both her children want to call her.  

My goals in terms of what kind of relationship I want to have with my monkeys now and well into their adulthood is:
  • I want us to enjoy spending time together.
  • I want to continue to learn from them- children are our teachers and in the words of Kahlil Gibran:  You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.  For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
  • I  want us to continue saying I love you and hug each other every time. 

What do you do to make yourself and your loved ones happy?
What are your gauges? 

22 comments:

Ninjagaiden78 said...

I totally agree with the second quote. Once you have children, that is the most important job.

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cpcable said...

Very well put. Happiness in my household has been dependent on very simple things lately. An active alert baby. Clean dishes. A successful trip out of the house. And working on one "project" every day.

vintch said...

beautiful thoughts. making a happy home is such an important concept. it seems that other things fall into place more easily once this is accomplished. i try to think of others before myself. that usually does the trick:)

Krystal said...

this was good to read. I definitely try to let mark relax when he comes home since he does most of the working, poor guy!

mermaid gallery said...

I'm happy when my son is happy...that is just the way things work for mothers. I try to be positive and supportive and FUN! Life is serious enough. Home should be a place of sanctuary...I try to make it so....

Jesse said...

laughter is so important to a happy marriage and life, my husband and are always trying to make each other smile.

la petite coquine said...

What a wonderful post! John and I really do need a clean, well-organized home to feel good, so that might be first on the list after general snuggling and being good to each other. As for gauages, if everyone is happy, I'm content.

mice_aliling said...

Right now, traveling, taking pictures and painting makes me happy. Cooking and eating time together makes us happy. TIme is precious, so I guess if we find time, that's the gauge. :)

Getrealmommy said...

our posts aren't that much different today.... :)

Lady Grey said...

Ren, this is such an insightful post. I loved reading every word of it. And I agree completely. It's not always easy, but I think you have the right recipe to a good life right there...
xoxo

C... said...

This is the best way I've heard this put:
I want to continue to learn from them- children are our teachers and in the words of Kahlil Gibran: You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. So many parents want to clone themselves, it sad. Let your child be who they were born to be.

Georgina Dollface said...

Lovely post and photographs! To make me and my loved ones happy, I first start by being absolutely present and focussed when I am with them. I try to remind myslef that nothing else matters when I am arund them - not work, not money, not some strangers rude behaviour. Why let those things ruin the precious moments we have with our families? - G.

Dharma said...

This was the most lovely and distracting post I read this morning and I am thankful for both the thoughts and the reminders today! Namaste, darling!

Krysten @ After 'I Do' said...

This is such a great post, thank you.

Sara said...

Words to live by, for sure. Always good to be reminded. Thank you for your post.

drollgirl said...

yup, raising the kids right is important. one must try really REALLy hard to get it right, but there are so many variables. but one still must give it everything they've got and hope for the best!

Diana Mieczan said...

This is totally what I needed today. For me its also really important that our days are full of happiness! I always make sure that I keep everything running well:) Happy Tuesday, my dear

Kristin Hjellegjerde said...

Well, I can say I am not always miss happy when my husband comes home and far from perfect.
But, I try my best and my guys melt me completely. Now my big concern is,,,, should I go for one more? Or stay easily with two!!
Have a great loving day!

Pistachio said...

What a lovely post.
Cheers!!

Lenore @ Lather. Write. Repeat. said...

Those are really great ways to approach things R, I imagine the responsibility of raising your children is absolutely staggering. I like the idea of having simple guides to live by...I try to say I love you to my fiance every single time we see each other and do something extra nice for him each day.

XO
Lenore

tulpen said...

Not sure what exactly our guages are. But my favorite thing my kids say to me?

"I like you Mom."

Not the obligatory "I love you."

But out of nowhere, running up to me telling me they LIKE me. Is just good stuff.

And? I rarely want to call my mother.

Mia said...

Lovely to read and a great reminder about love in our day-to-day actions. Thank you for this post, Andrika

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